The power of paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is repeating, in your words, what you interpreted someone else to be saying.

Our coaches often use paraphrasing in client sessions. One of the main reasons for this is to bring clarity to discussions. We need to be sure that we have understood what was said correctly, because often the words we say are open to interpretation. Coaches need to understand a client’s goals extremely well, so that they can help plan towards them.

Simple examples might be ‘so what you’d like to happen is….’ Or ‘So you’re saying that…’

Paraphrasing also helps your client know that you are fully paying attention.

Interestingly, paraphrasing is used a lot by the financial advisers we work with. Advisers work with customers on goal setting, just as we do. For financial advisers, the customer goal is enabled by accumulating or protecting wealth. But to understand how much to invest or what level of investment risk to settle upon, the financial adviser needs to have absolute clarity about the customer’s goals. It’s not enough to know that the customer wants to retire at 60. The adviser needs to understand what lifestyle they envisage at that point. Are they happy with paying the bills and an annual holiday or will they need funds for an active social life and regular travelling? Lengthy conversations can follow (we all love to talk about our dreams!) so paraphrasing becomes a necessity. Paraphrasing can also become a summary, providing structure and control within a customer meeting.

To be effective, your paraphrase should be shorter than the original comments made by the other person. It’s also powerful to put the ownership of the other person’s words on him/her. E.g., say “If I understand you correctly, you’re saying that…?” or “you believe that…” or “you feel that”.

Used as a conversational tool, paraphrasing can be really effective in clarifying meaning, proving you are paying attention and maintaining control.